Ready, Set, Slow

​is the title of my Qi Gong teacher’s new book that will be released in January (preorder it now on Amazon). After taking Lee Holden’s online tier 1 teacher training in 2021, it was wonderful to finally have an in-person experience with him at his advanced teacher training the first week of August 2024.

​The location was dreamy, literally it was held at the Dream Inn in Santa Cruz, California. Qi Gong mimics the movements of nature, animals, and babies, so it was wonderful to have two walls of windows looking out over the sand and sea. There was an anchovy run while we were there, and I’ve never seen so many seabirds or such a big herd of sea lions. It seems it was the place to be to fill up on energy, whether that be physical, or the invisible, Qi-life-force kind.

Our days started with morning practices on the beach. Feet sunk into the sand, I felt so grounded, and the cooler misty mornings were the perfect energetic field to take in new inspiration. According to 5-Element theory, the lungs house sadness and grief, and when functioning at their best, are full of courage and inspiration. I’m sure I was not alone in our group of 30 teachers on needing to release some old stuff and fill up again.

As with any gathering, the week had its ups and downs. By the end though, I had moved out of my habitual self-rejection and fear of rejection energy, and I had found my human pack to feast with at lunches and to swim with in the cold Pacific Ocean after a long day. I was feeling buoyed after a season of discouragement with my business, and I was ready to return Cleared and Charged up. I just didn’t expect another C-word to come home with me.

The universe allowed me less than 48-hours to sleep and unpack, and by Monday I felt myself going down with COVID, and I stayed down for almost two weeks. My period decided to join the party and then because I was sleeping so much, I hurt my neck, and then I couldn’t sleep. As a retreat leader myself, I understand the highs that can happen and how it’s a transition integrating back into daily life, but for me there was no leisurely walk back down the mountain, I had been pushed off and left crumpled at the base. Ready, set, slow.
 
While I slowed down during the week, my nervous system entraining with Lee’s, the universe knew I would speed back up at home. I had come back full of ideas and a mile-long to-do list, and then I couldn’t do any of it. And when I finally felt sickness lifting and was ready to get back to moving again, my hurt neck kept me from over-doing it. Creating slow patterns in my life is not a new lesson for me. As someone who has been challenged by autoimmune issues, neurodivergence, and by being the Enneagram Type with the lowest amount of energy (hit me up fellow fives), I have had to lean heavily into meditation, restorative yoga, tea ceremony, and menstrual cycle awareness. Even so, it is still hard to continue to go slowly in a fast-paced world, and to trust that the yin will always turn to yang.
 
Qi Gong is all about working skillfully with energy – whether physical, emotional, or mental. ‘With’ is a key word because it is a co-creation process. As I slowly flow in my practice, the energy and I are dancing together, but what I realized during the week is that I don’t like to let it lead. I think I know best and try and set the pace. I don’t trust.  
 
Today as I practice, I hear Lee in my ear, “If you go fast, you miss the energy.” I feel my fellow teacher Mary’s hands on my shoulders, moving my body for me and inviting me to do less. I see my donkeys laying down in the pasture, cowbirds on their backs taking care of flies. Resistance leaves my body as I come into the present moment, connected to the source of the heavens and the support of the earth. And I know without a doubt that I am nature, and I do not need to hurry anymore.

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